I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
