I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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