dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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