Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
