sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
