me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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