last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
