Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
