It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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