Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
