elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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