I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I don't deserve a penis
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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