and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
