If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You are a genius and a whore.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
