For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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