Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
