How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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