Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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