rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
