I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
