It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
