what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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