making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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