Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
