The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
