I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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