We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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