Got a toothbrush?
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
