i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
