Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
