idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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