Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
