Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
be right there i have to get my cape
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
