Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I need to sanitize my soul.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
