This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The Olympian is in my bed
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
