He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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