yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
