yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
tell your sister to shave her snatch
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
