There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
