We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
