It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
