definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
