is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
