I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
