I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So apparently I’m into choking now
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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