saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Randomize
