check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
