i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
