I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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