I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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