hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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